Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Unpleasant flashback

I debated a lot before actually writing this because I don’t usually like to discuss negative stuff but after a bit of thinking I realized the same situation can be looked as a learning point (everything has a positive side you just have to look)
Like I told you all I changed my gym with my new membership I was given a free session with any trainer and I chose somebody who specialized in kick boxing. My session was fun, I really enjoyed kick boxing more than I had imagined (I will write another post all about kickboxing and my new Muay Thai class). Anyways the session was good and then we sat down for consultation which was also OK he told me I would need to lose around 6 kgs the minute I heard that number I was in shock.  I know I am not perfect and I have a long way to go in terms of my fitness journey but I was still shocked to hear 6kgs...anyways I told myself that could be one of my new goals but it cannot be my focus because personally I don’t like focusing too much on the weighing machine just because then I tend to move away from actually improving in my fitness and only focusing on that number...
So after this consultation though I was not in a very happy frame of mind but I continued my usual training and then I had the same trainer come up to me when I was training with my friend/fitness buddy (she is definitely more fitter than me) and he compared us which was a big blow to my confidence. In my mind I know my fitness level and I also know my fitness buddies are way ahead but when somebody else comes and compares you it’s a completely different feeling..I didn’t know where to hide. It bought back very unpleasant memories from when I was a fat kid and was compared to my much thinner friends by other instructors
I couldn’t believe that even after coming this far in my journey somebody could make me feel the same way I felt when I weighed my maximum...for some time I didn’t know how to react, I was angry, I was upset, I was really frustrated with myself..I didn't feel good enough...finally after lot of thinking I decided I wasn’t the same person anymore the old me would never go back to face the instructor the new me will go back, I will focus on my goals and not let somebody's opinion stop me...

I am going to keep going back, I am going to give my best and I am going to reach my goals even when some people doubt me...I am going to do what I set out to do!!!
How would you handle such a situation?  or would it not really affect you?
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  1. I really appreciate your determination and tenacity..I hope you achieve your goals..

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  3. Oops try again.......

    Just sometimes negativity can be a good thing because we go onto the POSITIVES.

    Keep focused, keep determined and achieve.

    All the best Jan

  4. Wow, I don't know how I would react in that situation. I would not like being compared to someone more fit at all. Esp by your instructor. I would probably want to tell him off, and then never go back! Maybe he thought he was being helpful, and you should tell him how it made you feel. Be honest with him. I don't know how much 6kgs is in American terms, but I don't think you look like you need to lose any! But I know we all see ourselves differently than other people do.

  5. I think you look too good! I think you are the strongest girl I know!


  6. Dear Tanvee,
    Being compared with your training buddy is not something that should be happening. I choose to believe that the PT’s intentions were good, but he had a wrong approach and a little bit unprofessional - if you ask me. I used to be a little bit overweight as well and to be compared, reminded and jugged over that! Yeah I know the feeling.. For years I had to hide to eat so other people will not see me and won’t judge me. My self-esteem was one with the floor. And it’s not easy to overcome it. But I moved on, made the change and I’m a completely different person now.
    When training with people with a better fitness level than yours: I used to train with a girl way to stronger than me, and her fitness level was unbelievable. Back then I wants even as half as strong as I am now. But I choose to see this a POSITIVE not a negative thing, I've learned from her, I worked hard with her because she pushed me.
    All I’m trying to say is when you find someone stronger that you to train, stick with them, because they will only push you and motivate you to get better and you always learn from them.
    You are a very strong girl and personally I believe that you can achieve anything you want, you will figure it out.

    Sorry for the long letter 


  7. Tanvee, I totally know what you're saying and your new attitude is an indication of the inner strength that develops from going through the grueling process of changing lifestyles - from an unhealthy one to a healthy one. It is not unnatural to feel shocked, hurt, or upset … I don't think you/we should ever hide from our emotions. It's what we do with them that shows our character … and your resolve shows how strong you really are.

    As for the trainer -- I think it's important to let him know if he says something that you feel is counterproductive to your progress. The last thing you want to do is invest time, energy, and money in someone who doesn't see you for who you are - no comparisons. No judgment. Surround yourself with the best possible people who will help you rise and flourish.

  8. Hi Tanvee, I do not agree with this trainer about your weight. You look beautiful (no exaggeration) right now, you eat really healthy foods, and you are fit. And, last year, didn't you have a trainer suggesting the opposite? If you have found a balance that keeps your weight you lost off and you are happy with, I think that is something probably a million women wish they could figure out. <-- It is no small thing at all. Make your own choice. Your choices so far have added up to where you are now. :-)