Wednesday, 8 May 2013

Bad Experience or Life Lessons?

I believe every bad/sad experience in life is always accompanied with good life lessons, sometimes it is people telling you what to do, sometimes it is small things that make you realise how to handle situations. This post is more like a note for me to get through my future tough times.
  1. Take time Vs Take Action: When things suddenly go out of control my mind also goes out of control, I usually think irrationally. I believe (and my dad pointed this out) we make our best decisions when we are calm and composed so instead of taking a decision immediately it is better to take concrete decisions only after a few minutes/hours or even after a night’s sleep. I allow myself to think all I want but I act on these thoughts only when I am clear headed. I know this might not always be possible because some situation might need immediate attention but whenever possible always take time before taking any action. 
  2. Smart New plans Vs Easy plans: Each time I have a problem I can calm myself down by making new plans, again instead of thinking which plan will get you out of the situation the fastest think which plan will keep you out the longest. Let me explain.. In my first job during my first week my work was criticized by my manager my first action plan was to quit, it was the easy way out. I would not have to face my managers or the embarrassment. Luckily for me my dad advised me against quitting so instead I made a new action plan of getting things right, I went back put in extra effort, redid my work and finally got appreciated for my work officially. This plan took longer and I was in an uncomfortable situation for longer but it worked out better than me quitting and looking for a new job.So the fastest way to get out of a situation may not always be the best way.
  3. Make your life simple Vs trying to do everything: I love doing lot of things, I find 24 hours less. I find I can never tick everything of my to-do list. Trying to do everything to my best can be exhausting even on days when things are going as planned so when everything is not alright I think it just complicates things more This time I was trying to keep up with my blog and my workout plans but I noticed the more I tried the worst I felt, I was having difficulty writing (I can write in my sleep that’s how much I enjoy it) I could not keep up with my exercise schedule I was running about from 6 in the morning and then trying to reach my classes in the evening on time and then finally trying to keep up with my blog...that is when Marion and Gwen saved me both of them in their own way mentioned I need to step back and stop complicating my life. So I focused only on doing things that I had to do nothing extra, no blogging, no fancy healthy meals, I even reduced talking to friends and family because I was too caught up in my own life to worry about somebody else’s life and trust me it made a whole lot of difference, I had more time and it helped me become calmer because I was focusing on only a few things. 
  4. Get away Vs Stuck in a hole: Again this was something Marion and my Dad suggested both of them asked me to get out, take a break from all the sad/worrisome things, just go to watch a movie I did just that I went and watched Iron man 3, just dressing up and getting out helped a lot more than you can imagine. 
  5. How you feel Vs what you are supposed to do: I focus on lot on sticking to my plan even when my situation changes for the worst, in process I usually end up disappointed in myself, exhausted and frustrated. It just adds to my bad mood. It’s important to do things right but it is equally important to focus on being happy, especially when things are all wrong why add to your miseries by being disappointed in yourself? I wanted to post every day but I found it difficult and at some point it became more like a task I had to tick off instead of a hobby I love which is when I decided I had to stop. I even changed my workouts to suit my moods, you can read more on this here,stepping back like Ayesha said is very important 
  6. It’s ok to ask for help Vs being on your Own: You can’t always manage everything on your own, as I grew older I started finding it difficult to ask for help. I always believed if I have a problem I will have the strength to sort it out, that maybe true but there is no harm in asking for help or accepting to people who care about you that you are in a problem. I usually find it difficult to tell anybody about my worries but this time I shared (actually T forced me) so I landed up discussing things with my parents and I felt so much better, just knowing you have so many people supporting you makes a world of a difference. It’s ok to ask for help, don't forget to do your part when somebody else needs help :)
I hope you find all the above points useful and if you have some of your own notes I would love to hear/read them.

Keep Reading I will Keep Writing 


  1. Great advice. Sometimes we jump into things instead of thinking them through.

  2. thank you Betty, I have to hold myself back from taking wrong and quick decisions...otherwise I would be in so much problem by now :)

  3. Hi Tanvee! These ideas are very good for problem-solving and doing well in stressful situations.

    A few thoughts that I was reminded by when reading your ideas--sort of different ways of saying some of your points: 1. "The short-cut is the long cut." The longer-taking more developed way is usually more effective in the long run. (Which is basically what you were saying in point 2.) 2. Whenever possible, sleep on a decision.<<I use that rule for my business decisions, as well as editing/proofing important documents. (That is in your point 1.)

    I think I intuitively want to curl up in a ball and worry hard when I'm stressed out. Lots of times I have to do the very opposite thing of what I feel like doing. (That is your point 4.)

    I'm glad you're taking charge. i often think--Attack the problem or it will attack you.

    :-) Marion

  4. Hi Marion, I think from now everytime I'm in a problem I'm going to come back to this post and remind myself of all these points, it very easy for them to slip out of my mind..

  5. This is a great list of reminders and really good advice to share. I think it's great how you've taken the time to think about not just what the tricky situations are but also at how you plan on handling them in the future.

  6. thank you Ayesha, I thought it was very important to make a list of all these things so that next time trouble comes knocking on my door I'm prepared :)

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