Thursday, 30 May 2013

The "I am fat mentality"

When I was fat I would doubt myself a lot, for me being fat meant I was not good enough. I have missed opportunities just because I felt disappointed in myself, I have feared meeting friends because I was scared of being photographed, and I would avoid trekking trips, running games because I believed I would slow everybody else...
For a long time I thought it was only me, I thought I was alone but recently I noticed a close friend of mine changing, she has put on a few kgs and suddenly she has started questioning herself a lot, she has changed from a girl who loved being photographed to somebody who avoids it or deletes most of her photos, dressing up to go out is a huge stress in her life, she believes every joke anybody makes and it breaks my heart to see her go through what I struggled with for so long in my life...
I feel this is just the first stage when you worry only about looking fat but if you don’t get a hold of yourself you will go down a wrong path where you will not only hate the way you look but also hate the way you think or the way you feel and that is not the way to live life..
This is what I want to tell my friend  and anybody else who feels the same way

Don’t let being fat be the reason to doubt yourself and get scared
Scared of going to the gym?
The gym always has people of different sizes and fitness level, lot of the fit people in the gym at some point could have been unfit, fat or unhealthy so most of the people in the gym understand what you go through and 99% of the people in the gym appreciate the effort you put in..Personally when I see somebody regular do better in there workout it motivates me to do better, I don’t focus on how fat or overweight the person is but instead I focus on how much effort a person puts in to improve and that is admirable

Doubt you can ever complete a workout?
Even if you are overweight if your doctors say you can do a workout, you surely can. You might not finish in the same time as a person who has been doing it for longer than you and remember most of the exercises can be done both at beginners and advanced levels. So next time before you give up on a workout just because you doubt you can do it try the beginner’s version at least once...

Worried about being the slowest runner ever?
Even if you are slow you are moving, you are stepping towards becoming better and that’s what matters. I have noticed people encourage and appreciate you if you put in the effort..I remember one time when I was struggling to jog a person jogging past me smiled at me and said to me ‘doing good ..keep it up..’ at the exact moment I was thinking of quitting and going home because I was embarrassed but after that I was motivated to complete my round.

Don't let being fat decide who you are as a person
Just because you are fat or overweight does not mean you are not beautiful and smart, this is difficult to understand I know because I still struggle with this but the fact is if you are confident, happy with yourself you look beautiful.You might not always be able to wear the clothes that you love but that still does not mean you don’t look beautiful .Many times I have noticed girls bigger than me looking so pretty and carrying off clothes that I was worried to wear just because I was fat. Feeling good is never about size it is all about being happy with yourself
I feel if I associate my worth based on my size or weight I will constantly be evaluating things in the wrong way. I love talking and meeting people but I avoided people, at university I avoided participating in presentations because I was afraid everybody would laugh at me not because I can’t present well but because I was fat...that’s just wrong!!!

You are not alone
Go online you will find so many people in the same boat, even in the gym there are so many people who understand and go through such feelings, people who have managed to change, people who are struggling to always find somebody who is in the same journey with are not unique at least in facing this problem, you will always find company.

In conclusion...

Please don’t let your weight decide how you feel about yourself, let your weight not decide what you should do in life. Being fat or overweight doesn’t mean you are not good enough, beautiful, smart and loved.
Keep Reading I will Keep Writing 


  1. Hi Tanvee! Lovely message. :D

    I was size 16 when I started working out at the gym. From the outset, I decided that I was going to wear shorts, even if they looked terrible, because I had to get over that feeling that you're talking about. I found that gym goers did appreciate how hard I tried, as you explain, and if they noticed the chubby legs, they were kind and never said anything.

    :-) Marion

    1. Hi Marion, I think gym goers are usually the most supportive crowd you will find because they understand the effort you put in..

  2. This is a lovely post, I am deffo one of those people. It is something I am working on but it is hard to regain that affection for yourself again once its lost. I hope your friend manages to find herself again before it becomes too late. It will be nice for her though to know you were in same position and understand because thats one of hardest parts for me.

    1. Hi Sarah, thank you for appreciating the post. I know it is really difficult to change this mentality, even I struggle somedays but I keep reminding myself about the other important things in life, everytime I go in that direction I think about everything I mentioned in the post..I hope you are also on your way to loving your self and being happy with yourself...I hope my friend also finds herself again, I have spoken to her about this and I hope she knows she has me when she is struggling with herself..

  3. That mentality still lingers with me. It's been the hardest thing for me to deal with during my attempt to lose weight.

    1. Hi Ayesha, even I struggle somedays and it is difficult to let go of this mentality but I keep reminding myself about how much time and effort I wasted because of thinking this way..I hope someday it just disappears completely from our life...

  4. It is one thing I am implementing but it is tough to get back which devotion for yourself again once their lost. I am hoping your own friend manages to find himself yet again before it might be too far gone. It will be wonderful to be with her though to understand you were within exact same situation and also comprehend because that's among most difficult parts for me personally.
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  5. Hi Tanvee! You have a really great site! I was wondering if you feature guest postings. Please let me know. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!